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      文章吧-經典好文章在線閱讀:凡是讓你不舒服的關系,都是錯的

      當前的位置:文章吧 > 哲理文章 >

      凡是讓你不舒服的關系,都是錯的

      2019-09-10 11:18:00 作者:明心君 來源:師父曰 閱讀:載入中…

        人這一生,大約會遇上2920萬人,但每個人身邊的位置其實是有限的。

        合則來,且喜高山流水,得遇知音;

        不合則去,好聚好散,不必太過介懷。

        舒服關系,無關討好

        有一句古話:“君子之交淡如水。”

        真正的君子,看重的不是奉承,所以巴結無用;

        真正的朋友,看重的不是名利,所以無關地位。

        只需要做好自己,冥冥中自有緣分。

        當兩顆心相交的那一刻,身份隔閡便都成了春日消融的冰雪,隨江河而去。

        高山流水,幸遇知音。

        

      凡是讓你不舒服的關系,都是錯的

        年未三十,俞伯牙已經是一位舉世聞名的琴師,許多人慕名而來,百般求見,卻被他拒之門外。

        當他在山上鼓琴時,一個樵夫站在旁邊聽琴。旁邊的童仆得意洋洋地說:“這可是大名鼎鼎的伯牙先生。”

        樵夫并沒有因為伯牙的名聲而露出諂媚之色,反而沉醉在琴聲里,高興地說:“彈得真好??!我仿佛看見了一座巍峨的大山!”

        伯牙不動聲色,轉念想著流水,樵夫感慨:“我好像看到了流水湯湯而去。”

        這時,俞伯牙卻琴起身,拉著樵夫的手,驚喜地說:“您才是我真正的知音。”

        這個樵夫便是鐘子期。子期死后,伯牙終身不再彈琴。

        讓人舒服的友情,始終離開利益關系的交契。

        

        兩個平等的人相互信任,彼此坦誠,是我能想到的最好的相處。

        如果有一段友誼需要你小心翼翼地維護,是否也會覺得疲累不已?

        如果有一段感情需要你唯唯諾諾地應承,是否也會覺得精疲力盡?

        單方面付出,總有一天會山洪暴發。與其撕破臉皮,不如及時放手。

        哲學家馬克思說得好,“奉承并不能得到友誼,只能用忠實去鞏固它。”

        何必攀明月,明月自相隨。

        真正舒服的關系,無關討好,相處不累。

        

        把身邊的位置,留給懂你的人

        有時候,分開不是因為矛盾,只是三觀不同,追求各異。

        還記得“割席絕交”的故事嗎?

        那天,一輛華貴馬車書院門前經過,管寧專注于讀書,華歆卻忍不住跑出門去看。

        回來時,管寧將兩人同坐的席子分開,淡淡地說:“從今天起,我們不再是朋友。”

        華歆先是詫異,后來便釋然了。

        當自己向達官顯宦投去羨慕目光時,對方早知自己有意于仕途。

        他并沒有強求和挽留,而是尊重對方的選擇,彼此心照不宣。

        既然無法同行,那就從此你走陽關道,我過獨木橋。

        

        志同道合者為朋,意氣相投者為友。

        硬要和三觀不同的人走在一起,時常會因為遷就而違背自身的意愿。

        或是身處人群,又不愿隨波逐流,越來越感到孤獨,每一場喧囂都是折磨。

        與其逢場作戲,勉強維持這段雙方不舒服的關系,不如果斷離開。

        有道是:“三觀不同,不必強融。”

        遇到了,便只當萍水相逢,做泛泛之交,無需為難自己。

        把身邊的位置留給懂你的人,才是明智的選擇。

        

        維系感情,在于彼此尊重

        文學家梭羅在《瓦爾登湖》里寫道:

        ldquo;我們生活得太擁擠。因此我覺得,我們缺乏彼此尊重。”

        關系再好,若是相處起來沒了邊界,便會不可避免地相互干擾;

        言語之間不知尊重,也會漸漸產生隔閡。

        讀者李芳,曾經公司認識一個朋友,兩人住得近,經常一起上下班。

        每個周末,她們經常會約出去逛美食街,分享哪家的衣服好看。

        原以為會一直這樣好下去,直到李芳開始備考公務員。

        因為時間比較緊,所以她周六日都在家復習,沒想到對方的電話卻接二連三地打來。

        ldquo;抱歉,我要復習,不能陪你玩了。”

        ldquo;這種考試不是隨便考隨便過嘛,出來嗨啊。”

        聽到這話,她有些不舒服,但也沒有放在心上??砷L此以往,她不但沒辦法靜心復習,甚至對電話鈴聲產生恐懼。

        一天,她終于把對方的號碼拉黑了,才長舒一口氣。

        

        最能解渴的,莫若一杯水。最舒服的關系,莫過于淡而不膩。

        活得通透的人,都明白這一點,恰到好處把握分寸,出于善意地保持距離。

        這種分寸感,并不是冷漠傲慢,而是不越界。

        月盈則虧,水滿則溢。

        不侵犯他人的邊界,同時保住自己的底線,才是尊重他人,也是尊重自己。

        

        很喜歡一句話:“隔天涯之遙而不生疏,居咫尺之地而不狎昵。”

        費力的感情,不必勉強;心靈的交契,無須多言。

        人與人之間的相處,始于性格,久于舒服。

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